The Shadow of the Gods

John Gwynne

Genre: Norse Mythology, Straight Up Not Having a Good Time, Finding Nemo

The gods are dead!

So everything is chill, right?

NOPE.

Step into Vigrið, a land scarred by a battle of divinities and scavenged by humans trying to eke out a living in this harsh world.

Dead the gods may be, their bones and their children, known as the Tainted, continue to work their influence on the politics of jarls, chiefs, and queens.

Do you love it when nobody in your book can catch a break?

This is the series for you!

Heavily inspired by Norse mythology, The Shadow of the Gods is the first in The Bloodsworn Saga, which just completed this year!

Dawnshard

Brandon Sanderson

Genre: High Fantasy, The Best Kind of Filler Episode, Magic Science

Obviously, this edition had to include some Cosmere work, so I decided to go for the short-and-sweet.

Journey now with Rysn and the crew of the Wandersail as we investigate the mysterious island of Akinah.

Nobody has returned alive since a calamity known as the scouring, but this small piece of the nation of Aimia is the only place to find the answers Rysn seeks.

The ancestral homeland of the larkin and stranger creatures abounds!

Let’s hope everyone survives.

Best read between books 3 and 4 of The Stormlight Archive, Dawnshard provides a ton of useful information for lovers of hard magic systems.

Arcane 

Genre: High Fantasy, GILFS, lesbian breakups, Crying in the club, Why is everyone gorgeous?

Okay, is it a book?

No, not even close.

But is it a masterpiece of storytelling?

Absolutely!

If you like your magic turned into technology and your lesbians pining, you’re going to love Arcane.

I cannot praise this series enough. Wrap steampunk, political intrigue, and knee-weakening attractiveness into every character (… not Smeech), and you can just begin to glimpse into the arcane…

See what I did there?

Seriously, go watch it.

Dear Crone,

I just finished my Manuscript. YAY.

It's the first in what I presume will be a 3 part series.

I can't decide who the love interest will be.

FL is an alien psychic.

I have Loyal Alien commander, respectable hot human lieutenant, and smart hybrid alien/human.

Thoughts?

Sincerely,

Lady in Blue

Dear Lady in Blue,

Congratulations on this amazing milestone.

When it comes to love interests, I have to say: dealer’s choice.

However, it will only work if the one you choose ends up being a traitor who kills the other two.

Has to start out full of hatred that gets tempted toward passion.

If I had to pick, loyal alien commander. He’s in the best position for espionage, and I’d like to see the loyalty shift to her. 

Betrayal will also be a good twist cause her psychic abilities should have picked up hints of such things.

Maniacally,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I am 85% in love with a guy.

I've known him for just over a year and worked with him this summer.

I feel a peace around him. But I am pretty sure he doesn't feel the same.

How do I ask without hurting our friendship or "get him to like me."

Mathematically,

85% in Love

Dear 85%,

First of all, I’m fascinated by what the remaining 15% is.

I’m assuming something involving how he looks naked?

Anyway, the crux of the matter is that you can’t risk altering the dynamics of the relationship without… altering the dynamics of the relationship.

Continue to gauge interest.

Invite him out to larger social events and slowly narrow down the attendance list.

You can (attempt) to casually invite him to a low-stakes one-on-one, such as coffee or lunch.

But if you want to ask him out or have him clarify if he’s interested, you’re going to need to take that risk.

Of course, he may beat you to it, but this is where you need to assess what's more important: the peace you currently feel or the possibility of something more.

If he likes you, chances are it’s not going to be because of something you’re consciously doing.

Honestly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I quit drinking after 18 years of allowing it to become a daily habit.

I never found the motivation before because... I'm not "that bad," “it's just wine…”

You can always find someone worse than you if you want an excuse to keep going.

I wanted y'all to know, and anyone else feeling the nudge that maybe it's time to quit to know you can do it!

Victoriously,

Mrs. Sobrie-tea

Dear Mrs. Sobrie-tea,

Allow me to offer sincere accolades for your dedication to yourself.

I merely want to echo your statement and inform our readers that if you are struggling with such a decision, you have the full backing of The Valthakan Times behind you.

I will also take this opportunity to recommend seeking professional help when you need it and encourage readers to look into the affordable options that may be available through work, school, or local programs.

Lovingly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I just got robbed at gunpoint yesterday.

No more phone, bank cards, ID, or anything.

Now, I have to deal with the aftermath.

Getting mental health stuff, protecting my identity, etc, I've put all that in motion.

But now life has to move forward, and that's scary.

I don't know how to move on.

Sincerely,

Lost in the Aftermath

Dear Aftermath,

To start, I am glad you are okay.

You made the correct decision to prioritize your life over items.

I understand that moving forward feels scary, but based on what you are telling me, you’re already doing it.

Continue to take care of your mental health and protect your identity. That is all you can do.

It may be a good idea to look into support groups for PTSD or gun violence.

You don’t need to handle this alone, and you should allow yourself the reminder that others comprehend what you have gone through.

One day at a time.

Gently,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I have recently gotten more confident and happier with myself and have started flirting with people.

I, however, am a bit nervous about how to keep texting interesting as I find myself a bit of a dry texter.

Any tips?

Glimmeringly,

Bituon ('star' in bisaya)

Maayong adlaw Bituon!

I hope I wrote that properly!

Texting is about volleying, ensuring that your responses can be responded to.

Whether that’s including a “What about you?” at the end of a statement or “Tell me more” is just good etiquette for any conversation.

Simultaneously, don’t doubt yourself. Many, many people struggle to be engaging when texting.

If a conversation lapses, you can give it time before jumping back in with a question.

It can also be a useful litmus test for your flirting: if people’s responses cut off conversation, they may have the same issue as you or not be as interested. Conversely, if the conversation flows smoothly, it means they are trying just as hard to keep you talking.

At the risk of sounding like a theater kid, figuring out the many ways to say “yes, and?” can be a valuable skill.

TTYLXOX,

The Crone

Contact Us

[email protected]

Submit Your Questions Here

Promote with The Valthakan Times

Our Website

Resources

Merch

Books, Haircare, and Tech

Start Your Own Newsletter

Connect with Creators on Passionfroot