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Edition #1.5: More Content Because Obviously
I Haven't Been Eaten By a Lion (Yet)
Daniel Alexander
March 15, 2024 • Estimated Reading Time: 11 minutes
Halfway Through the March
Greetings Valthakai, smut lovers, roleplayers, and art makers…
I hope that it is a nice surprise to learn that The Valthakan Times will be sending out two editions each month, with the second being a bite-sized mid-month update to ensure you get your fix on book recommendations, Dear Crone, and discussion.
If you’re reading this, I am currently visiting family in South Africa!
Meanwhile the Crone is handling her own vacation and it’s probably involving some sort of of alcohol and pyramid scheme (she likes to make AND break them as a hobby).
These mid-month check ins will also be dedicated to providing you updates on the growth in the various Valthakaverse communities.
Now as a warning there is a non-zero chance that I will attempt to pet a leopard sometime today so if I abruptly stop making content you know what happened!
The very first Crone short story, A Path to Fang and Shadows dropped last month on Patreon and a sequel will be coming soon, so keep an eye out!
In the meantime, please know how grateful I am that you are here and enjoying the many things the Crone and I have to offer.
If you haven’t heard yet, I will be attending Vidcon 2024 in Anaheim this June, and hopefully I’ll see you there!
Trying to hug a giraffe,
The Crone and Daniel
P.S. No the title isn’t a typo
Platform | Progress (Followers) |
|---|---|
The Valthakan Times | 1,458/2,500 |
Patreon | 311/500 |
Tiktok | 306,100/500,000 |
165,000/200,000 |
Daniel’s Current Read
 Title: Priest Author: Sierra Simone Genre: Romance, Taboo, Catholic, Forgive Me Daddy For I Have Sinned | In a biting critique of the Catholic Church and American society as a whole, Sierra Simone delivers the gripping tale of Father Bell and Poppy Danforth. Nah, I’m fucking with you, you all know what kind of book this is. It’s hot, it’s sexy, and it’s not something I’m going to be telling my mom I’m reading. Almost exclusively for lovers of Fleabag, and I say that proudly. The Priest Collection is a completed 3 book series for those looking for a fun read infinitely more entertaining than any church service they’ve gone to. |
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Dear Crone
An advice column
Dear Crone, To be honest I don't think many people need advice per se. Just acknowledged. So I would suggest acknowledging they are valid, awesome, coping, and ultimately being seen. It's what I like and need ☺️ (I am 2 generous G&Ts in don't judge me) Love, Anonymous | Dear Anonymous, Absolutely gagged Queen. Please let this be my acknowledgement here that you are valid, awesome, coping, and seen. Thank you for a wonderful write in! Love, The Crone Dear Anonymous, If you want to step up your G&T game consider making it with elderflower tonic water, edible flowers, and a dash of grapefruit juice! Thirstily, Daniel |
Dear Crone, Is it better to choose the love interest that is pathetic or traumatized? Sincerely, Anonymous | Dear Anon, It’s better to be single. In both cases you’re more than likely going to end up being responsible for helping them improve, and if that isn’t THEIR decision you will be stuck pushing a boulder up a hill for eternity. Concerned, The Crone Dear Anon, If it’s a gun-to-the-head scenario, go with the one that’s hung. Enablingly, Daniel |
Dear Crone, How To Get Boys To Stop Being Cowards: I know that they see me, but they are intimidated by my intelligence, ferocity, and empowerment. Some have approached but not followed through. How do I get them to play with me? Be less "aggressive"? Ty wise 1 Bodaciously, Reine du Sel | Dear RdS, This is a tough one. Now I’m sure that many of your friends have been telling you that they’re simply intimidated by you. But seeing as you wrote to me, I think a portion of the realization is there: in all these instances with men not following through, the common denominator is you. I am not saying this to be mean, I am saying this because I worry that in their attempts to spare your feelings, the people around you are not being honest. I do not think you are being “aggressive”, I think you are afraid. You’re worried that if you don’t make it clear that you are intelligent, ferocious, and empowered — all things I am certain you are — then a man will either attempt to bowl you over or lose interest when he realizes he can’t. Frankly, you do not need men like this, but in attempting to prove that you are all these things, it has put up a wall between you and genuine people. Something that they may interpret as being standoffish, or uncompromising. If you want men to play with you, be playful, and trust yourself to know your boundaries regardless of if they know what kind of person you are. Being open and soft is not the same as being weak, nor does it mean you’re willing to take shit, and I believe you’re approaching these situations already expecting there to be problems, so problems arise. But the truth is, interest and connection often appears the moment you stop overthinking it. Love, The Crone |
Dear Crone, Thank you for your time and patience. I like this person but they want to dominate to who I talk to and what I do. I tried to explain it to them that I wasn’t cheating on them, they blocked and have ignored me ever since. Cackingly, Witch of the East | Dear Witch of the East, Sometimes, the trash takes itself out. There is nothing to be gained fighting for someone who already doesn’t trust you. Assess what you would/would not have with this person. Currently, with their absence, you do not need to defend who you see, who you speak to, and who you interact with. Why upset that sort of peace? Incredulously, The Crone |
Dear Crone What tips do you have for building confidence for some who lacks the confidence to date? Nervously, G | Dear G, This is a great question! And the answer is: baby steps. If your issue is a lack of confidence, you can only build that by tackling the minutiae of dating. For example, getting used to being surrounded by strangers. Build a routine where you can reasonably meet new people. Whether that is bringing your work to a coffeeshop, joining a club/organization, or— if you’re feeling bold— going out! The goal is not to immediately be ready for dating, but to acclimate yourself to what dating would entail. Something as simple as getting dressed as if you would for a date, so you can see how good you look and maybe even prepare outfits in advance, can serve this purpose. In meeting strangers, the goal isn’t to get asked out, but to simply get used to talking to people in a casual setting. If even this may be too much at first, just being in areas where other people are may help. Even if you don’t talk to them. It will be incrementally slow, but the truth is the body can only be so stressed until it literally has to relax, exposure therapy is a great place to start! It may also serve to try to identify where this confidence issue stems from, if it is about something physical versus a more emotional block. Encouragingly, The Crone |
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The Soft Covers
Because Sometimes Fantasy is Nice
Musings on Immortality
Hello and welcome to The Soft Covers, the mini-edition discussions that are here simply because I wanted to make more book puns!
In this section, I dedicate to a topic more closely related to in-world fantasy concepts and their implications if we experienced them.
Whereas The Hard Covers is more of a rant, The Soft Covers is more of a conversation.
This month, I wanted to discuss immortality, and specifically the way we experience it in the A Court of Thorns and Roses series in comparison to the anime Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End, because I think it highlights something very specific about the human psyche.
When asking people if they would like to be immortal, the answer is almost always a resounding “NO” for rather understandable reasons: they would miss their families, their friends, their pets.
In short: they would be lonely.
So I wanted to pose the question: would you want to be a part of an immortal community?
Feyre gets the best of it truly, as her closest friends, family, and the city she lives in is populated by those who will live forever.
But what about with Frieren? For those of you unfamiliar with the show, it focuses on a titular main character who is roughly 1,000 years old. As an elf with endless life ahead of her, we watch as she struggles to find meaning, connection, and direction surrounded by people with infinitely smaller lifespans.
There are other elves in her world, but they are few and far between, leaving her isolated from her kind.
So I’ll change the parameters of the question: would you want to be immortal, if there are other immortals in existence, but you don’t typically interact with them?
In the case of the last two questions, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes, and I think the reasoning is obvious: being alone forever is terrifying.
But knowing that there are people that can understand you, that have the same depth and breadth of scope (or capacity for it), that is something valuable regardless of how long you will live.
It has taken a long time and a lot of growth, but I think the truth is life is beautiful, why wouldn’t I want as much time to experience it all?
What I wouldn’t have given to see the Library of Alexandria, see who built Stonehenge, or stopped the bloody Romans from taking our menorah (long story, but I have an INCREDIBLE idea for a heist movie: Yam’s Eleven).
Now would I trade this for access to indoor plumbing and Wi-Fi? Absolutely not.
But if I had the chance to experience it AND enjoy the advent of technology, sign me up!
I also think there’s something beautiful in mourning, in remembering souls that society, that civilization as a whole has long forgotten.
There’s an expression that I often ascribe to: “people are great, humanity sucks,” and I think getting to experience that on an immortal scope would be a privilege.
Would I want to pass on eventually?
I have no idea, especially if I had an immortal community to be a part of. I think the option being there would be nice, but truthfully, if you throw in an immortal cat the afterlife isn’t going to see me for a LONG time.
Remember that life is short, but longer than many others, and even if you don’t have all the time in the world, there are still infinite things to enjoy and cherish.
A very special thanks to our High Lord Patrons
Crohnic G. Lauren C. Selaena Lyndsie P. | Sabrina W. Elle W. Sam |
Would you want to be immortal? |
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