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Edition #2.5: Decreasing My Vitamin D Dosage
Life Has Meaning Again
Daniel Alexander
April 15, 2024 • Estimated Reading Time: 10 minutes
Sunlight Has Finally Arrived to Vancouver
Hello Valthakai, magnesium takers, and pole dancers…
Time isn’t real and it still manages to slip by me, but luckily you guys are here to keep me on track.
In exciting news, we absolutely destroyed the previous Patreon goal of 300 members, and are now clocking in at 472 as I write this! Think we can get 500?
Tiktok has been in a tizzy regarding whether or not badly written smut is valid, to which I always say that there is a very distinct difference between “good” and “entertaining”.
Here in Vancouver we are finally getting weather that isn’t some combination of rain, drizzle, or shower. Instead, the SUN has made a wonderful appearance and I suddenly remembered that maybe there are things worth living for.
At the end of the day, we’re an indirectly solar powered computer that needs hugs in order to function. Ain’t it grand?
I had the distinct pleasure of being a guest on two more podcasts, so be sure to check out Literary Debauchery, and A Podcast of Smut and Dragons when you have the chance.
I have some amazing Dear Crone for you guys today, so sit back, relax, and enjoy what I have to offer… And if you or someone you know works for a multimillion dollar company hit me up I need brand deals.
Financially,
The Crone and Daniel
Goal | Progress |
|---|---|
Subscribers | 2,016/2,500 |
Patreon | 472/500 |
Tiktok | 316,000/500,000 |
171,000/200,000 |
Daniel’s Current Read
 Author: Brandon Sanderson Title: Oathbringer Genre: High Fantasy, I don’t Need Therapy I Have This Talking Sword, Crab, Found Family with Mental Health Disorders | To absolutely no one’s shock, I am still propping up Brandon Sanderson’s The Stormlight Archive. Book 5, Wind and Truth, will be published this December, so I have begun my exceptionally necessary reread. I refuse to miss even a single detail that may have been foreshadowed, alluded to, or connected with the rest of the Cosmere. I am currently on my favorite of the series so far, Oathbringer, and humanity now has the very difficult task of reconciling their place on the planet with fighting against innocent pawns and the gods that have enslaved them. Somehow there’s still time for street food, politicking, and suddenly remembering that thing you forgot. Planned as a ten book series, Oathbringer is book 3 in The Stormlight Archive. |
Dear Crone
An advice column
Dearest Crone, My roomie likes a guy who is built better than Cassian or Rhysand is described. Man is a walking Greek God! But has the personality of wet cardboard or an empty tub of ice cream - how do I tell her that she should raise her standards? Sincerely, Dewdrop | Dearest Dewdrop, It’s not often a question makes me cackle like this. There’s seems to be a strange trend with male personalities, and unfortunately if they weren’t ugly in high school they tend to have not suffered the evolutionary pressure that generates a personality. The good news is I promise your friend will figure it out pretty quick, and you’ll be able to have the standards conversation over wine afterwards. Sincerely, The Crone Dear Dewdrop, If they’re that pretty they tend to suck in bed too, I doubt you’re missing out. Pointedly, Daniel |
Dear Crone, My Boyfriend of 5 years (we were supposed to be married this year) dumped me. It’s for the best and I am doing great, but I want to have an amazing summer and try new things now what I can, but I don’t know what to do. Any ideas? Curiously, Bored as Hell | Dear Bored as Hell, I’m very happy you have such a positive attitude, it’s exactly what will bring something refreshing into your life. While you should definitely give consideration to finances, I would suggests small outings. Depending on where you live wineries, camping, or backpacking are all great ways to make memories with friends (I’m partial to the first option). The trick is to organize properly so you don’t burn yourself out. There’s nothing wrong with relaxing! Excitedly, The Crone Dear BaH, Try pole dancing! Dizzily, Daniel |
Dear Crone, How does doth keep up thine skincare? It’s giving flawless Interested, Anonymous | Dear Anonymous, CeraVe and Sunscreen. Because you’re worth it. Love, The Crone Dear Anonymous, Girl, it’s a filter Truthfully, Daniel |
Dear Wise One, I am self-aware of my deep self-repression of emotions and periods of my life. While it is hilarious, and makes for a great conversation topic at parties, I am a little unsure how to break this pattern. Yes, I am in therapy. Any tips? Self-improvingly, Lady Death | Dear Lady Death, To start, I commend you for being in therapy. Given that you are attempting to break this cycle, I would recommend refraining from making it a topic of conversation at parties. This is not to say not to explain if someone asks, but presenting more positive aspects of yourself will help you reinforce your own growth, and can serve as a reminder for what you are working towards. Encouragingly, The Crone Dear Lady Death, Many people, myself included, often present negative experiences or history in a self-deprecating manner. Normally this is done to see if people can “handle” us in the face of knowing our full history; it’s a way to seek approval despite how “damaged” we are. Truthfully, it is okay to keep some things just between you and your therapist, as they are the professional best equipped to help you work through that. You aren’t hiding anything, but you are simply stepping beyond your past, with a drive to be more positive. Lovingly, Daniel |
Dear Crone, My best friend is an introvert with social anxiety so I understand that she doesn't like doing things involving people, but i wanna branch out and make more friends who like to actually do things, but don't want to leave her behind. What should I do? Concerned, Anonymous | Dear Anonymous, This is certainly a tough one. I think the best way to start this is for you to branch out in whatever way you were planning, and keep an open invitation for your friend to join you. It’s unlikely she will do so at first, but you are both adults, and so long as you keep inviting her you will not be leaving her behind. It might become a bit of a tough love scenario, but the worst thing you could do is prevent yourself from doing what you want, as it will only lead to resentment. Trust your friend to try, and she can trust you won’t leave her behind. Happily, The Crone |
Need Advice?
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The Soft Covers
Because Sometimes Fantasy is Nice
Cottagecore Abilities
Often times, when we discuss supernatural abilities, the conversation revolves around world-ending (or world-saving) abilities.
The most iconic characters in fantasy series typically have the capacity to destroy cities, devastate landscapes, and pose a threat just by virtue of their existence.
Personally, I say fuck that.
Yes having such abilities are incredibly useful. Take for instance Aelin’s pyromancy or Kaladin’s Windrunning abilities, but the sheer number of responsibilities that come with that sound like a headache.
Truly, would you want to deal with the apocalypse even if you got a talking sword? I find grocery shopping to be tedious, I don’t think being able to fly would be a big enough temptation to take on the Dark Lord.
Thus I wanted to show some appreciation for what I’ve seen called “Cottagecore Abilities”. The magics you may see less often that just make running a household easier.
I can think of nothing more lovely than being able transmute clothing so your outfits are always in style, or being able to levitate objects to make spring cleaning less of a hassle.
While I certainly see the draw in gaining god-like abilities, I think the reason behind this fantasy is typically the purpose it brings. Life is much easier when your primary goal is to combat a single entity, and you don’t need to give concern to rent, pet bills, and your relationship with your parents.
But life isn’t like that, we are a function of a thousand different commitments, concerns, and drives, and I think that is something special.
As such, simply something to help me do my laundry more efficiently, or a magic that warps space to give me more room in my apartment is much more appealing to me than a years long, traumatic commitment.
Maybe I’m just getting old but given how much of my social media feed is dedicated to interior decorating, I just want to be able to rapidly put together furniture and move it around with my mind.
A cauldron that self-cleans would make me far more likely to cook at home and fit the sorcerer-lord of the tower vibe that I am trying to go for.
What do you think?
A grand adventure, or some help around the house?
Which would you prefer? |
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