Edition #56: My (Almost) Birthday Bash

Treat Yourself (and Daniel)

In partnership with

Welcome to The Valthakan Times

Lord-us of the Taurus

Greetings Valthakai, laatlammetjies, astrologers, and those who love ferries…

After much debate, the Crone has agreed to dispense with the royal “we” and allow Daniel to address our wonderful readers!

As we approach the end of April, I am closer than ever to my 26th birthday.

I'm quite pleased to say that the time didn't fly by.

I carry with me many important memories, struggles, and achievements that people demand I celebrate.

So I’m going to.

I’ve done myself proud in my writing, my content creation, and the growth that many of you have seen firsthand.

Thank you for being there for so much of it.

Of course, many wonderful followers asked if there was anything they could get me for my birthday.

I had a few ideas, but ultimately decided to go for a theme that was on-brand.

From now until the end of my birthday, May 18th, I’m offering 26% off two months of The Valthakan Times membership upgrades.

This way we can properly honor Taurus season and my cusp Gemini status.

Think of it as a birthday gift and party favor rolled into one!

Who knows, maybe it will go to the coke habit you all want me to develop.

Regardless of what you (or I) do, know that whatever comes next, I’m going to face it head-on, and with a smile.

Thank you to everyone who wrote in this week; your faith in the Crone brings as much joy to me as it does to her.

Enjoy!

Love,

Daniel and the Crone

Hot Witches Stay Informed

Stay up-to-date with AI

The Rundown is the most trusted AI newsletter in the world, with 1,000,000+ readers and exclusive interviews with AI leaders like Mark Zuckerberg, Demis Hassibis, Mustafa Suleyman, and more.

Their expert research team spends all day learning what’s new in AI and talking with industry experts, then distills the most important developments into one free email every morning.

Plus, complete the quiz after signing up and they’ll recommend the best AI tools, guides, and courses – tailored to your needs.

Because my lion is on a compass I’m an attention whore… lucky guess

Daniel, after his birth chart reading

Daniel’s TBR Top Up

The people of Kaigen are the Empire’s sword.

Families perfect ancient techniques to defend their homes and pass them to their children, all to uphold the honor of their ancestors’ legacies.

But Mamoru slowly learns that there is more to the world than his father’s bloodline technique and the history his village claims to protect.

Facing her own battles, Misaki, his mother, must grapple with the warrior she was, the housewife she is meant to be, and the life she truly wishes to lead.

Vis Telimus has succeeded in infiltrating the Catenan Academy.

But where the Republic’s most powerful sons and daughters will battle for influence and prestige, Vis is far more focused on the ghosts of his past.

In a society where the higher castes harvest the vitality of those beneath them, Vis must play along.

He will be the perfect student, the willing citizen of the Republic, and the lucky orphan who managed to eke his way into their upper echelons.

All the while, he will plot, investigate, and search for answers.

Some that may destroy the Republic itself.

While I rarely include pre-orders in this section, I have to recommend this one.

Following the events of Sixth of the Dusk, the titular character finds his people caught between the star-faring race known as the Ones Above and his own people’s race for advancement.

With the magic of his Aviar at his side, he enters the Emberdark to try to save his people.

Meanwhile, the dragon known as Starling is forced to risk her own journey in order to escape her debts.

It’s nice the way life-or-death situations can bring trapper and dragon together.

She’s a frigid wall of ice, I’m more a whirlpool of feelings

Daniel, describing his sister

Dear Crone

Because you weren’t going to ask your parents

Dear Crone,

So hypothetically speaking, let’s say there’s this absolutely hot guy who likes me and makes it very clear that he likes me.

The only problem is I’m recovering from a breakup, and I don’t want to rebound on this amazing guy.

What do I do??!!

Anonymous

Dear Anon,

If you like this man and see a future with him, by definition, that isn’t a rebound.

If you’re worried you may somehow mutate your dynamic into a meaningless fling, the obvious advice is: don’t do that.

Take the dates seriously, potentially hold off on sex, plan ahead, and just get to know him.

Take it slowly and start small.

You can worry about your wedding palette after date four, just show up to the first one.

Nothing is set in stone, and the best way to check in with yourself post-breakup is to venture back out there.

Cautiously,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I lost my husband 5 years ago, and have just started dipping my toe back in the dating pool after almost 20 years out of it.

Ideally, what I'm really looking for is a FWB situation - but I have no idea where to start with this, any great tips for me?

Curiously,

Wicked Widow

Dear Widow,

I wanted to offer my sincere support for what has surely been a harrowing emotional journey.

I suggest trying to meet someone as organically as possible.

Whether that's through a support group, getting set up by a friend, or a community activity, those are all better options than an online matchmaking service, in my opinion.

Personally, you will need to be patient both with yourself and this potential partner; communication will be key, as they will be new to everything you like or need.

Additionally, you may find yourself comparing him to your husband; that's natural, but understand that their job won’t be to replace him.

Similarly, you will likely struggle with feelings of guilt, which is best discussed with a professional.

However, what I can say is that you are allowed to seek this out, so long as it brings you happiness. 

You can stop.

You can restart.

You can prioritize what you need.

A FWB situation doesn’t typically develop overnight; it requires patience to get to know and trust an individual.

So long as you keep this understanding and recognize that you are allowed to step back if it becomes too much, you’ll be fine.

Gently,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I'm worried about my brother, who is becoming severely detached from reality after an incident (which I'll follow up on if necessary), and he's developing a hero complex.

He's doing dangerous things that could get him in juvi, and I can't really tell my parents cause they'll react the wrong way.

He isn't listening to me, and I'm really worried.

What do I do?

Worriedly, 

Older Sister Parenting

P.S. He's 12 and we're from brown families, so the consequences are worse.

Dear OSP,

When it comes to the power dynamic between siblings, it can be challenging to know better and lack the authority to enforce helpful boundaries.

I'll ask you to assess whether your parents’ reaction will be more detrimental to your brother’s safety than a stint in juvenile detention.

If it's truly up to you, approach him as an adult.

He isn’t one, to be sure, but calmly and effectively communicating your concerns, especially if you’re usually the fun sister type, can help drive the point home.

If possible, look into resources that may help him see a professional or even a scared-straight program (you can contact your local sheriff’s department for information on the latter).

Your goal is to make him realize that there are very real consequences for foolish behavior, but ultimately, you are not his mother, and you may want to consider informing your parents as a last resort.

He may take that as a betrayal, but his safety takes precedence over his feelings.

Honestly,

The Crone

Hi Crone, Hi Daniel,

Good news!

I'm getting my degree in two days; I'm so nervous I wanna scream.

So I thought it would be nice to see this statement featured in one of your next newsletters, when everything will be over already and all this anxious energy will be no more...

Plus, I wanted to share, honestly, my closest friends weren't too happy since I'm the first of my friend group and they are at least a year behind me, so... I'll celebrate alone, but I'll definitely be happy anyway.

Ty, bye

CallMeDoc

Dear Doc,

I’m so glad that you wrote in.

Congratulations on finishing your degree!

Whatever you choose to do with it, know that we are celebrating you here at The Valthakan Times.

My celebratory advice in this case is to ensure that no matter what, your favorite drink, food, and people are involved.

Smack your friends if they aren’t celebrating you; they’ll catch up and can put on a happy face for your success!

Wishing you the best, and to never have to do homework again!

Ecstatically,

The Crone

Hey Doc,

Wanted to reiterate everything the Crone said and more!

Mazel tov on getting it done!

I hope you are giving yourself enough credit for such a wonderful achievement.

Keep celebrating, and when your friends catch up, make sure to remind them you did it first!

Happily,

Daniel

Dear Crone,

My parents suck, especially my mother.

I’m moving away in the fall, and my dad asked me to talk to my mom before I leave about her neglectful parenting and alcoholism.

I said that I don’t want or need that closure, but he told me I was the only one who could change her and get her to parent my two younger sisters better.

Do I give in and piss my mom off, possibly making things worse, or stay selfish and leave my sisters in the shit?

I feel guilty either way.

Concernedly,

Faux-eldest Daughter

(P.S. Your birthday is one day after mine!)

Dear Daughter,

As much as it will be a struggle to convince yourself:

You are not the guilty party, and you are not responsible for this situation.

Your concern for your siblings speaks positively of who you are, but this isn’t a problem you can fix.

I will recommend, for your sake, that you extend some grace to your father, but understand that he is wildly out of line for asking you to intervene with his wife.  

Your mother will not change, regardless of whether you speak to her or not, because she will only change if she wants to.

And regardless of that, it is your father’s job to ensure that your siblings are being taken care of.

You are not responsible for telling your mother to be a better parent, but you are (if you decide it is worth it) welcome to tell your father to step up.

The guilt will be challenging to manage, and I highly recommend reaching out to a professional and staying in touch with your sisters.

Whatever happens, you move out in the fall.

With all my love and support,

The Crone

Need Advice?

Never trust a translation spell

The Crone

People Watching, Episode V

Victoria Island and Personal Realizations

I had the distinct pleasure of visiting Victoria for the first time since I moved to Vancouver.

For the uninformed, Vancouver Island is the confusingly named landmass directly to the west of my current lair.

Following a leisurely 95-minute ferry, you can arrive in a city that simultaneously makes you forget you’re on an island, and feels like London if it deserved good weather.

So naturally, I took to people watching with my family.

I basked in the sun on various restaurant patios with nothing short of relish, the heat seeping into my bones for the first time since last summer.

As people passed by, I recognized the difference in energy between Victoria and my lovely little slice of Vancouver.

It truly felt like everyone was on vacation.

The city was quieter, more people meandered, and were happy to bring their dogs up to me so I could pet them.

Many places closed at 5PM, something that was as unfathomable to my LA-damaged mind as staying open later would have been to them.

Tourists came wearing beautiful saris, wide sun hats, or, in the case of one emo teenager dragged along by their more brightly colored family, pitch-black sweats and a hoodie.

People were obsessed with the many tulips that decorated the public spaces, and happily took hundreds of photos to commemorate their visit.

It was peaceful, happy, beautiful, and, I realized, utterly at odds with what I wanted out of life.

There is a distinct pleasure in realizing something about yourself, fitting another puzzle piece into the mosaic that is you.

And in my case, that was discovering that the thought of spending any extended amount of time on this quiet, beautiful island would have driven me insane.

Many people undoubtedly loved their life here; the locals were all happy to chat and suggest places for us to visit, eager to share what they loved about their home.

And while everything was tastefully decorated, lovingly designed, and served great drinks (seriously, check out the Bard and Banker), I would never have been able to live like that.

I am a city-slicker through and through, but sometimes, it’s nice to get away, if only to appreciate what else is out there, and what you left behind.

So what do you think?

My preferred lifestyle is...

Login or Subscribe to participate in polls.

Some Sneaky Links…

Contact Us

Resources

Support The Valthakan Times

More to Read

Reply

or to participate.