Welcome to The Valthakan Times

Bloodwork and Balderdash

Greetings {{firstname_title | Valthakai}}, home remedy makers, kitchen witches, and moms who worry too much…

Obviously, this is rather unorthodox for our standard weekly schedule.

Unfortunately, health issues have been rather persistent, and while I promise you I am getting them looked into, they’ve been… detrimental to my ability to write.

Naturally, this means that Deep Dives, Journey chapters, and Wanderings of the Crone MAY be delayed (not canceled!), I would prefer to give a well-edited chapter late than force you all to suffer through something I wrote while barely conscious.

Additionally, the hellscape that is currently my throat is a massive disappointment to my myriad lovers as well as for anyone dying for us to start Arc 2: A Priapniorian Vacation.

We’ll be back on track soon.

I just need to figure out what’s in my system so I can purge the little bastards.

So welcome to an abridged edition of The Valthakan Times.

If you see a typo, blame it on blood loss.

Enjoy!

Love,

The Crone and Daniel

Daniel’s Current Read

I don’t know about you guys, but whenever my body betrays me, I tend to default to novels and TV shows that I’ve already enjoyed.

Something about reading about an apocalypse but knowing what’s going to happen relaxes me.

And thus, I’m back on my Cradle binge.

Lindon’s duel is finally here.

But the Jai Patriarch has done something stupid to ensure his clan survives.

And now the Bleeding Phoenix rises.

Dear Crone

It was this or scream into the void

Dear Crone,

My mum has been unemployed for 2 years.

She isn't looking for a new job.

She just comes to me when there's a bill (food, fees, electricity).

Lately, whenever I buy anything for myself, like a snack or small treat, she expects one too.

If I don’t get her something, she calls me selfish and says she’d never treat me that way.

It’s always over little things, but it’s constant and emotionally draining. I feel guilty for being frustrated, but I’m exhausted.

What do I do?

Frustrated Fairy

Dear Fairy,

While it is unclear whether your mother lives with you or not, the answer is fairly simple: don’t give her money.

It is normal and healthy for an adult to work.

It is normal and healthy to expect a grown woman to handle her own finances.

You have nothing to feel guilty about.

It’s one thing if she needed help getting back on her feet and quite another if her retirement plan is to mooch off of you for the rest of her life.

Based on her behavior, it looks to be the latter.

You can even offer to help her job hunt, but you cannot take care of your own finances if you are beholden to someone who refuses to take responsibility for theirs.

Let her rant and rave; words can’t buy a chocolate bar.

Honestly,

The Crone

Almighty Crone,

Around 9 years ago I briefly dated someone, and it didn’t work out.

We remained friends and became best friends… however, over the years, he’s become incredibly possessive and controlling over my life.

I value his friendship, but I’ve been single ever since because I can’t date anyone without his interference.

How would you cut this person out of your life?

I’m not afraid of confrontation in general, but it hurts my heart to confront and hurt a friend.

Help!

TinyAmes

Dear TinyAmes,

You’re not hurting him.

He’s hurting you!

Just bounce, dearie.

This is someone who is still angry that your relationship didn’t work out NINE YEARS AGO.

Stop being available to hang out and answer his messages less.

You can wean him off you, or you’re welcome to explain things but understand that he will more than likely attempt to shift the blame to you.

Don’t tolerate this.

He’s a grown man throwing a tantrum.

What value does this friendship give you if he’s actively seeking to screw up any future relationships?

Above all, allow me to suggest speaking to a professional.

Encouragingly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

My first (and only) child is a few months old.

I’ve started socializing more in ways my baby can be included.

I’m exclusively breastfeeding, so I can’t get a babysitter - I also don’t want to have to dump my baby every time I want to see my friends.

However, I’m worried some of my child-free friends might be put off by having to include a baby.

This has never been a problem for me as I’ve always welcomed my friend’s kids.

How can I include my baby and preserve these friendships?

Social butterfly wannabe

Dear SBW,

You’ll likely have to leave your baby at home if you want to hang out with your child-free friends; otherwise, you’ll simply have to make plans with your fellow parents!

Now, of course, you can always try to organize plans with any of your friends, make it clear that your child will be there (not unreasonable), and see if they can make it.

Just as your child-free friends are welcome to an environment without children, you are equally welcome to bring your newborn to places.

I say reach out.

If they desperately don’t want to be around children, you can take that under consideration—and even make it clear that it will be a while before you’re able to leave your baby at home.

Take it slow, and make sure everything works for you (and the crotch-goblin).

Happily,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I have been dealing with a horribly negligent landlord.

Last week, our AC went kaput, and when maintenance replaced it, they left a hole in the wall.

Not a large one, but big enough that water from both outside and the AC itself regularly leaks in, soaking the carpet.

My pleas for this issue to be fixed have since fallen on deaf ears.

What can I do?

Should I attempt DIY?

Simple Hedgehog

Dear Simple Hedgehog,

DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TRY TO DIY.

You leave that as untouched as possible, ensuring that the only people who have messed with it are the maintenance crew.

Document everything.

I want enough photographs to make it seem like this apartment is your first child.

And keep track of all emails; communicate exclusively in writing.

From there, you’re going to look into your local renter laws and potentially contact a lawyer with your evidence.

Depending on where you live, withholding rent could be the bare minimum you’re allowed to do to force them to make the apartment livable.

Again, DON’T TOUCH, DOCUMENT!

Encouragingly,

The Crone

Dear Crone,

I am the evil they speak of in the night.

I meet a man, we date, it's going well... Until it's not.

I've only ghosted tinder bro's & talking-stages, not actual relationships.

My last breakup ended with him stalking me for 2 years, so though I feel guilty, for some reason, when I need to end things, I just freeze and can't talk to them again.

It’s stopping me from entering another relationship bc I don't like feeling like I've treated someone badly.

Sincerely,

Perpetual Ghoster

Dear PG,

I understand that stalking issues are a godsdamned quagmire of legal red tape bullshit, and they’re usually not there to protect the stalkee.

What I would suggest is speaking to a professional, as it is only by working through this trauma that you will be able to establish a healthier pattern.

I fully understand why ghosting is preferable to the risk of another stalker, but that behavior will keep you closed off from potentially successful relationships.

Simultaneously, I want to give you some solace that ghosting is not the worst thing you can do to a person, and your Tinder bros and talking stages will recover.

Don’t torment yourself with guilt; look to healing from these habits.

Encouragingly,

The Crone

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