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- Edition #3.5: Prefrontal Cortex Final Development
Edition #3.5: Prefrontal Cortex Final Development
Oh I Should NOT Have Done That
Daniel Alexander
May 14, 2024 • Estimated Reading Time: 12 minutes
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Mid-Month Check In
Hello Valthakai, Ravers, Clubbers, and people who think those last two things refer to books…
It’s May 15th, meaning it is three days until my birthday and I am terrified.
May in general tends to be a massively important month for many people, spring is in the air, the US celebrates both American Jewish and Asian American/Pacific Islander Heritage Month, and of course, the Jewish community worldwide celebrates Yom Hashoah, commemorating the murder of 6 million Jews, as well as 5 million Poles, Roma, homosexuals, and political enemies who perished during the Holocaust.
The most common expression you will hear in the Jewish community in regards to those who have left us is Zichronah Livracha, which you may see abbreviated to “z’’l” and translates as “may their memory be a blessing”.
The grief is eternal, but celebrating the life of the individual is vastly more important than wallowing.
I often receive messages from my followers, people who do not know me beyond the content I put out, to thank me for the way I speak about my family, as it reminds them of the joy they found in those they have lost.
It truly is a privilege to be able to make fun of my sister, mother, and father, and know that I am helping so many of you feel seen, to help you fondly recall your own relationships, may their memory be a blessing.
I am touched each and every time my relationship with my sister helps you feel closer to your own siblings, especially those who have passed.
With my 25th birthday coming up this Saturday, I am equally revitalized— thanks to weekly therapy sessions— and nervous for the future.
If someone had told my middle school self I would be possessed by an immortal witch and making dick jokes about faerie smut, well… I probably would have asked “how soon can we start?”
Life continues to fascinate me, and I am pleased to share that my closest friends have gotten engaged!
Seeing as I am 25, and do not know what exactly “mid-life” is for me, I have decided to have an ongoing crisis.
Donations go directly to therapy.
Thank you for being here alongside me.
Love and cheers,
The Crone and Daniel
Goal | Progress |
|---|---|
Subscribers | 3,414/5,000 |
Patreon | 509/1,000 |
Tiktok | 322,700/500,000 |
173,000/200,000 |
Daniel’s Current Read
 Author: Brandon Sanderson Title: Rhythm of War Genre: High Fantasy, Crab Apocalypse, Found Family, Take Responsibility for Once! | The final step in my Stormlight Archives reread, and the one I was most looking forward to. This is (definitely not) the last time I will mention the Cosmere. Step back onto Roshar, a world of storms and power. And kinda also sorta the apocalypse… again… Fifteenth time’s the charm? Underlying the crab themed Desolation are the wonders of scientific research. As the clash of societies both old and new drives investigation into the way magic— and subsequently the world itself— operates. Hiding there is the key to ending this war, so long as you don’t destroy yourself first. Book 4 of The Stormlight Archive, Rhythm of War remains one of my favorite installments. Book 5, Winds and Truth, is expected December 6th, 2024. |
Dear Crone
An advice column
Dearest Crone, How do you set boundaries with parents in specific? I’m trying however they always seem to disregard what I have to say. Going low contact is not an option at the moment. Any ideas on what I could do? Desperately, Little Lark | Dearest Little Lark, Trust me when I say I recognize your position. Unfortunately, the best way to protect boundaries with people unwilling to respect them is to ensure your own self sufficiency. While this is highly dependent on age and other factors, earning your own money and being able to physically remove yourself from your parents’ environment would be the key to establishing your boundaries in a roundabout way. I understand that low contact is not an option for you, and it certainly isn’t something I would suggest without first consulting a therapist. Given that they do not seem to be respecting your boundaries anyway, I would recommend a direct conversation, without accusation. Something along the lines of “I would like to go to therapy with you guys” rather than a “you both constantly violate my boundaries.” Unfortunately, with parents in particular, pointing out a simple fact is often interpreted like an accusation, and will shut down to conversation. This is a very difficult situation and as such delicacy is a must. In these scenarios, you cannot expect their behavior to change, instead you must be able, in whatever capacity, to remove yourself from these circumstances. Not angrily or spitefully, but because you don’t need to tolerate it. Supportively, The Crone Dear Little Lark, Trust me when I say it is like looking in a bird themed mirror. The “requirement” of respect for people who are genuinely incapable of correcting their behavior has led to not a small amount of headaches. But trust me in keeping respectful and distancing yourself is the way to passively reinforce your boundaries. In the meantime might I suggest Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents? Love, Daniel |
Dear Almighty, Beloved Crone, To be blunt—anxiety is a bitch. I wake up in the morning. BOOM. I feel relaxed. Suddenly BOOM. I spiral and fret that my boyfriend will leave me. BOOM. Aside from therapy, (I’m going next week), how do I calm it down? Desperately, Anonymous | Dear Anon, I truly commend you for starting therapy, it is a very necessary process that I think more people should partake in. While I will not presume to be as knowledgeable as a licensed professional, I would suggest that you stop seeking to avoid the emotion. The fact that you can verbalize what thoughts are generating the anxiety is actually a good first step. Allow yourself to feel it, recognize that the emotion is real, and be okay with sitting with it for a moment or two. Your therapist will give you much more hands on tools, but recognizing that it is okay to feel the negative as well as the positive will remove the fear of it. You are anxious right now. You won’t be forever. And both of those things are okay. Xanaxly, The Crone |
Dear Crone, My situationship sent me a text calling someone baby then deleted it immediately (he knew I read it). Should I key his car? Sincerely, Down Bad Crying at the Gym | Dear Down Bad, This sounds like a non-scenario unfortunately. By your own admission, you aren’t a formal relationship, though it sounds like you may wish to define it as one. That is a conversation that must be had with your partner, and I would take time to recognize that your anger over the scenario likely implies you want this to be official. Matchmakingly, The Crone Dear DBCG, You must find out who “baby” is. If they’re another situationship, that is —unfortunately— fair game. If they are that person’s girlfriend and he’s been side-chicking you? Styrofoam and gasoline makes DIY napalm!1 Criminally, Daniel |
Dear Crone, The last guy I dated was a POS, I left him, moved across the country and started therapy. That was 4 years ago and I'm ready to date again, but I'd much rather stay at home and read. Any advice for forcing myself to leave the house and meet people? Cozily, Impossibly Introverted | Dear Impossibly Introverted, If you would much rather stay at home and read, why feel obligated to go out? While I believe that forcing yourself into uncomfortable scenarios is typically the only way to grow, it is also a very easy way to make anxieties surrounding these situations much worse. If you want to force yourself to meet people, I would say do it in a setting you like, and that sounds to me like a book club or something similar. Libraries and coffeeshops both host public events, and might be the sort of low stakes outing that could help you to dip your toes in! Encouragingly, The Crone |
Dear Crone, An Evil Virgo(ex-bff) whom I haven’t spoken to in years named me in an IG post saying she’s glad to see me failing (+ other lies). My mental health is better now and I feel happier. Why did this bother me? Should I move on? Challenge her to a duel?? Schemingly, When They Go Low I Go Lower | Dear Go Lower, What the fuck? Now as someone working on their mental health, I DO have to suggest that you move on. It is fan behavior truthfully. I’m guessing that you two run in very separate circles, and as such the people seeing such a post are probably as irrelevant to your life as this Virgo. I think you’re within your rights to report the post, but it would be equally hilarious to take each lie, make a post proving everything she said was wrong, and then never acknowledge the original. Duels are messy, moving on is healthy, mind games are fun. Your pick! Cackingly, The Crone |
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The Soft Covers
Because Sometimes Fantasy is Nice
Book Hangovers
There are few things better than falling in love with a new story, and few things more cathartic than finishing it.
While I titled today’s Soft Covers, I meant to cover all stories, and having recently finished Dead Boy Detectives, I will be sharing my thoughts on that show as well.
It is an addiction truthfully, always hunting for the next series that, when finished, leaves you with an ache in your heart.
In actuality, I rarely find it. There are countless I have ENJOYED, but those that leave me feeling like my chest has been squeezed? Like I lived a life alongside these characters? Like I was their friend? Their ally?
I can count those on my hands. Well… only if you treat the Cosmere as one story.
Dead Boy Detectives is one of them, The Sandman alongside it, and I blame my morbid fascination with Dante’s Inferno.
The conceptualization of the sins. Of humanity’s Death and Dreams and Despair and Desire is something that makes me feel… seen.
I enjoy seeing the way stories evoke the darkest of situations. The endless punishments of Lust, Gluttony, and war, and the way the strongest of characters grow from it, and learn forgiveness from it, for others and themselves.
There is a release that comes from consuming these circumstances, one not found in books that lack these grief riddled events.
You NEED the horrific to truly appreciate the end the characters have fought for.
And when you find it, it leaves you unable to do anything but mull, slowly disentangling yourself from the world that, however briefly, you were living in.
It leaves you unwilling to begin the next story, JUST YET, because how can you say goodbye to the life you stopped living?
It is the only pain I cannot get enough of. And so I resist calling it a hangover, and instead call it a longing.
For the fantasy that you’re a part of, however little time that may be.
Hashem knows what I’m going to do when the Stormlight Archive is completed.
I’d love to know what series sends you spiraling!
What do you look for in a series? |
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