Threshold

Will Wight

Genre: Progression Fantasy, Maybe The Real Friendship Was This Striker Technique We Found Along the Way

Join us once again in the multiverse of Cradle, a land where even the smallest insect can grow to become a god.

Experience the first tales of the Monarchs that ruled the continents in the main storyline and the beings that rose higher than them.

This series has grown to become one of my favorites through its exceptional magic system— taking the best elements of spellcasting, smithing, and personal growth and doing it all without the isekai bullshit.

There is always more to discover on Cradle, which makes sense, considering it has a population of 600 billion people. Including fish-folk, lion-people, and some occasionally friendly elementals

And you thought LAX was overcrowded.

Onyx Storm

Rebecca Yarros

Genre: Shadow Boyfriend, Dragonriders, High Fantasy, Girl Stop Making Problems for Yourself, Jesus I Thought My Mom Was Crazy

Obviously, this book was going to be mentioned in this edition despite only coming out on January 21st.

We’re back once again with the story of Violet Sorrengail, as she becomes embroiled in the mess that is the Basgiath War College, and the politics of the wider world as a whole.

The wards are failing, and the villains (who remind me of Sasha Velour) are pushing ever closer toward her homeland.

While Violet seeks the truth and the path to victory, we seek the answers to our own questions:

Is Violet going to complain the entire time about stupid things again?

Do we care what happens so long as Xaden is fine?

And what does it mean to be a shadow daddy?

Night Angel

Brent Weeks

Genre: High Fantasy, Dark Fantasy, Hold This Knife For Me, Found Family But They’re Still Kinda Assholes

You have assassins, and you have wetboys.

You can either have faith that your murderer-for-hire will get the job done, or you can pay someone like Durzo Blint and rest easy knowing there’s only one outcome possible.

Azoth is fighting for survival, an orphan boy with little more than Talent and an apprenticeship to Blint.

When murder is an art, it pays to be taught by the best.

This is one of the series that I read years ago, and the magic system still sticks with me.

If you like your good guys a little bad, you’re going to love The Night Angel Trilogy.

Dear Daniel/Crone,

I have my fingers crossed that you'll respond this time.

Just an update from my last message.

So, I stopped talking to my ex’s ex-gf who had a crush on me because I found out they were still talking to each other while my ex and I were together.

I'm heartbroken about it all and I know they may want back in my life... What do I do?

Confused,

WhatInTheNetflixDrama

Dear WhatInTheNetflixDrama,

Your two write-ins are missing some information.

The first implies that you discovered your ex was speaking to his ex while in a relationship with you, and after breaking things off, you struck up a friendship with this ex-girlfriend, and she confessed to having a crush on you.

But now you’re saying you cut off the ex-girlfriend as well for the same reason.

Did she know about you when she was still speaking to your ex-bf?

Your timeline is a bit fuzzy here, dearie.

If she didn’t know about you, I don’t see how she’s involved in this, especially considering she clearly likes you now.

However, this entire thing reeks of drama that I would wholeheartedly avoid— I don’t care that they want back in your life; would it improve yours at all?

Spare yourself.

Honestly,

The Crone

Dear Drama,

I agree that the least hectic thing to do is wash your hands of this.

I’m also going to use this write-in to point out that at any given time, we have between 300-400 submissions dating back to August 2024 waiting for a response.

We’re not ignoring anyone, we promise.

Mathematically,

Daniel

Dear Crone,

I am struggling with wanting independence and wanting someone to be there when I am sad or just need a good cuddle, among other spicy things.

For the past three years, it’s been hard for me to find someone with just the right amount of crazy to match mine.

I do have a complex past, and it’s hard to talk about. I also am enjoying my own space.

The man that I am seeing, I guess, knows about my complexities, but he lives six hours away and has no intention of moving here.

Should I just let it go?

Romantically,

Human with Complications

Dear Human,

With the man you are currently seeing, I am not suggesting some sort of fiery breakup.

But given that he doesn’t have an interest in moving closer, and that seems to be in direct contradiction to what you’re looking for, I would understand if you let that relationship go.

For your sake, I would deeply consider what it is for you to be independent, as not being able to verbalize where you need space can cause issues in any type of relationship.

If you move beyond this man, you can assure yourself that you have the tools and communication skills to outline your desires.

A reminder: there is a difference between someone listening to you talk about your past and actually understanding who you are because of it.

Boundlessly,

The Crone

Dear Crone and Daniel,

In 2023, my mother had a health emergency that required someone moving back to take care of her.

That someone ended up being me, and because we have a good relationship, I was happy to do so.

We both agreed that I would eventually move out again, and my mother is happy to have me do so once she gets back to stability again.

The problem is, I'm worried about leaving her without help.

I have a therapist, but SO MUCH ELSE has happened that this hasn't come up yet.

Worriedly,

How Do I Adult Again?

Dear Adult,

I want to commend you for stepping up to take care of your mother.

My first piece of advice will actually be from your mother’s side of things.

It can be very difficult for parents to realize they need help from their children, and it can often be an immense source of guilt for them.

Your mother’s job was to prepare you for the world, to go out and be independent.

Leaving her once she is better would likely be a huge source of relief in that regard.

In your case, I want to simultaneously offer a suggestion and a firm rule.

Given that you moved back in with your mother, I’m guessing your work situation is rather flexible; would it console you if you simply moved nearby, as opposed to directly living with your mother?

You would be able to assist should she need it, but you would still have your own space.

If that isn’t a possibility, I am going to press the belief that you must prioritize yourself, especially if your mother is also encouraging you to move out.

Your mother is an adult just as much as you are and is capable of looking after herself.

This does not mean that you will not be available or difficult to contact, but just as she believes you should leave the nest again, so do I.

Gently,

The Crone

Dear Crone (and Daniel),

My absent father has shown up after 20 years (left after literally a week of me being alive) and is smothering me in being a dad while also not doing anything, and he keeps asking when my boyfriend and I are getting married.

He wants to walk me down the aisle, but he only showed up in my life a few months ago.

And my mom’s boyfriend has been more of a dad, and I want HIM to walk me down when I get married.

What do I do?

Mamma Mia-ly,

Too Much Father

Dear TMF,

To start, I want to recognize the mixed emotions that can arise from this situation.

I have no doubt many, many people are suggesting a sort of righteous, indignant, ‘fuck you’ conversation, but that likely won’t make things easier for you.

I think you need to be clear.

For starters, is he invited to the wedding?

If he is, you need to sit him down and make it apparent he doesn’t have that honor.

He may cry, he may plead, he may beg.

And if he asks why, you can say,

“Because you walked out on me 20 years ago.”

If he gets upset or angry, you can warn him that he could be uninvited.

And if he’s sincerely apologetic, you can accept that but still have him face the consequences of his actions.

You would not be in the wrong for being angry, AND you would not be in the wrong if you weren’t angry but simply wanted someone else to walk you down the aisle.

Stick to your boundaries, and mazel tov on your wedding.

Love,

The Crone

Read the Previous Question in Edition #11.75: Journies of Self Discovery 

Dearest Crone and Daniel,

He broke up with me.

Yk when life gives you lemons, do lemonade?

Well, life round-house kicked us in the face so badly that a relationship wasn´t viable, even less an LD one.

We remained friends, but I started to wonder if I'll find someone who loves me unconditionally (most partners break up with me because "I'll be too expensive long-term" while referring to my health issues).

I'll love myself first, but damn, it's sad when they beg for an opportunity just to say that.

Achingly,

Lovefool

Dear Lovefool,

That was quite the rapid turnaround and one that I certainly didn’t expect.

While you can’t make lemonade, you can certainly take the lesson and bring a gun to the next fight¹ duck next time.

I believe that you are already taking the right steps now, based on your follow up.

Love yourself, but also recognize that this is an opportunity to improve in some capacity.

Whether that is focusing on a new interest, hobby, or goal.

Unconditional love is the final step in a long journey, but be open to someone new coming along when they inevitably do.

Encouragingly,

The Crone